


The Golden Beard

by Mourshkin



Series: Lives Made Into Song [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Dwalin is not amused, M/M, Rhûn, Shamelessly stealing ideas and titles from folk songs, gold mining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:12:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3888931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mourshkin/pseuds/Mourshkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I've seen you somewhere before.' Somehow Dwalin managed to make even this innocuous sentence feel like a threat. Nori gripped the reins of his pony tighter and frantically scanned his memory. Suddenly it all came back like a devastating flash flood. The tall miner with tattooed hands.The dress, the false beard, the stolen gold...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Golden Beard

**Author's Note:**

> This one's inspired by the folk song The Close Shave, listen here! www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKttmV2iW74

'I've seen you somewhere before.' Somehow Dwalin managed to make even this innocuous sentence feel like a threat. Nori gripped the reins of his pony tighter and frantically scanned his memory. He did not like it when people recognised him, it usually ended with demands for repayment and fresh bruises. He tried to be casual.

'Ha well, Longbeard diaspora and all that, bound to have been in the same camp together, or trader's caravan - something like that.' He said it with a grin and a silent plea for Dwalin to leave it at that. The first day of the quest was not the time to be meeting old enemies - even ones you had forgotten.

'Oh aye? And what trade would you be in?' Bugger. Nori felt the blood rushing to his face, the shame of a dwarf without a proper trade. He'd tried his hand at so many things that most of his friends called him Jak, not Nori.

'Oh, this an' that.' Nori scrambled for something he'd done that was vaguely respectable;

'Hunting.'   
Well, it was technically poaching...  
'Money lending.'  
More like borrowing, and then not giving it back...ah! There was something respectable...  
'An' I wis a gold miner away in Rhun for quite a stretch.' Nori had hoped this would satisfy Dwalin's curiosity, but it only seemed to increase it.

'Gold mining in Rhun? Not near Khygriz, was it?' Oh no, please don't let Dwalin have been there.

'Eh, yeah actually - why?'

'I was out there too. Tried my hand at mining myself, when I was a bit younger.'

Shit.

It has been the bald head that had thrown him. Now it all came back like a devastating flash flood. The tall miner with tattooed hands.The dress, the false beard, the stolen gold.

'Ohhh.' Nori said with a wobbly breath. 'Did you have much luck there?' Dwalin gave him a sharp look.

'Luck? No.'

\----------------------------------------

Many years earlier, in Rhun....

Nori felt like his muscles were made of brittle twigs, everything ached. His back ached, from crouching in the tunnels so long, his hands ached from the furious vibrating rebound of the pickaxe he had wielded almost continuously for the last month, and his eyes ached in the now unfamiliar glare on the evening sun.

But he strode on, irregardless of his pains, full of pride. Finally am honest trade, and he was good at it too - the heavy pouch full of gold nuggets tied firmly around his waist inside his jerkin was proof enough of that. Gold that could be traded in for cash. Cash that could be sent back to his old mum. That'd show Dori. To young, too irresponsible, he'd said. This time Nori would be the sensible one, the bread winner.

The sun was setting as he finally reached the trading town of Khygriz. Obviously all the gold trader's shops would be shut. Nori eyed the low door of a Dwarvish tavern. One drink to celebrate his success, one drink wouldn't hurt.

It didn't hurt, but it certainly swelled his pride. Before he knew it, Nori was at the bar boasting of his success, of the hard toil he'd put in and the rich reward he'd earned. He even pulled out one of his precious nuggets to show the other punters. The gold shone softly in the dark grubby tavern, beautiful and pure.

At that moment, something of the same beauty, the same purity shone gold in the dark and Nori was transfixed. A dwarf stood beside him, blonde hair and beard intricately braided and down to her waist. Her strong body was swathed in the finely embroidered dress of typical of the local gold merchants. She shone like a gold seam in the grubby darkness of the tavern.

'That's a fine piece you have there.' The dwarf said with a slow smile. 'Although I'd wager you have something finer still.' She glanced Nori up and down, 'A drink?'

Nori nodded mutely and accepted a tankard of something much stronger than ale. The second tankard unloosened his tongue and it wagged away telling tall tales that the golden dwarf laughed at merrily. The fourth tankard unloosened his hands, which found their way into that golden hair. The gold-haired dwarf leaned into the touch with a smile.

'How about one more and then we find somewhere quieter?' Nori grinned and downed the fifth tankard - which unloosened his clothes. They reached a small room below the tavern, tussling and swaying drunkenly. Then their clothes were scattered on the ground. And Nori was fast asleep on the bed.

\----------------------

Waking up to realise you'd fallen asleep before the going got good is not a nice feeling. Waking up to realise the beautiful dwarf that the going could have been good with has disappeared is worse. Waking up and realising that not only is she gone, but so are your clothes and all your gold, is bloody awful.

Nori sat up in the gloom, instantly regretted it and laid his pounding forehead against the cold bedrock wall. After the spinning had stopped, he chanced another glance around the room. It was true. Everything he owned was gone. All that the golden-haired dwarf had left was her richly embroidered dress and her... golden hair.

Nori scrambled forward and grabbed the wig. Oh the absolute bastard. What a trick, what a low down, dirty, mean spirited... utterly brilliant trick. A grin split his face. If it had worked once, why shouldn't it work again?

Nori pulled on the dress and pushed his red hair under the golden wig and beard, checking carefully that none showed from underneath. He climbed the stone steps up to the tavern and found it already bustling, he must've slept through the whole day. He scanned the crowds astutely, sizing each one up, when the door opened and a huge dwarf strode in with a pack and a pickaxe on his back. He'd found his mark.

But Nori was cautious, he waited and watched, chatted with other punters, as the tall dwarf sat in the corner and demolished a plate of meat and bread and practically inhaled jug after jug of ale. He paid for it all with nuggets of gold. Judging that the miner had finally imbibed long enough to be open to conversation, Nori approached. He started safe, talking gold prices, posing as a trader. Then he moved on to the hardships of mining, of being away from home. 

This seemed to tap a source somewhere deep inside the tattooed dwarf and soon Nori had the whole sob story of a family fallen on hard times, the youngest son far from home, trying to earn enough to send back to them. A story so like his own that Nori almost felt bad. Almost.

'I dunno why I'm blethering on, never usually talk this much.' Said the tall miner. It's the drink, thought Nori, this stuff's bloody lethal. But all he said was;

'There's not much time to talk down in the mines, and anyway not that often you find a kindred spirit out here in the back of beyond.' He gently covered the back of the miner's large, tattooed hand with his own. The miner turned his hand and gently held Nori's.

'Aye, perhaps you're right.' Nori smiled softly and tilted his head.

'How about we get out of this rabble, somewhere quieter?' The miner stood, a little too eager and stumbled on his feet. He only laughed and said;

'I hope it's not too far, not sure I'm fit for travel.' Nori laughed too, slipping an arm around the miner's waist and guided him down the stairs. The miner's hand came to rest on his hip as they reach the room and the door closed behind them. He dropped his pack and the other hand tangled in the long golden beard that Nori wore. He found himself pulled close and looked up at the dwarf towering over him. 

Without thinking, he pulled himself onto to his toes and kissed the miner, hard. So hard the miner stumbled and they both came crashing down onto the low palette bed. They laughed into each other's mouths, without breaking the kiss. Hands tugged at clothes and they tumbled over, the miner on top now. He gazed down at Nori in the darkness, leaned slowly in and kissed him. And kissed him again. Each kiss was softer, more gentle than the last until...

\-----------------

'...until I fell asleep.'

The company of Thorin Oakenshield howled with laughter, it echoed in the beautiful carven halls of Rivendell. Dwalin managed to look slightly peeved but couldn't hide his pleasure at the enjoyment everyone got from his story. Bofur grinned and nudged him.

'So you're trying to tell us, the reason you never took up mining was because you had a bit too much, fell asleep before you did the dirty and were so embarrassed that you scuttled all the way back to Ered Luin and never looked at a pickaxe again?! I've heard worse than that lad!'

Dwalin grinned ruefully and shook his head.

'Och no, it got worse than that.'

Thorin turned a questioning look on his friend. 'Worse? You never told me beyond that.'

Nori smirked at the empty bottle of elven wine that lay beside Dwalin. Evidently, alcohol's ability to loosen Dwalin's tongue had not changed. The company had fallen silent, waiting for the rest of the story. Dwalin paused dramatically.

'When I woke up, the dwarf with the golden hair was gone.' A couple of jeers erupted but were silenced with a look. 

'Not only that, but so was my pickaxe, my pack, my clothes and all the gold I had mined.' Outraged cries and shouts. Dwalin raised his hand for silence. 

'But in return, the dwarf had left the dress she'd worn... and her golden hair. It was a wig.' Laughter exploded again. Killi and Filli clutched at each other as they rolled on the ground and Balin pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Wiping away a tear, Thorin asked;

'And what then, what did you do?' 

Dwalin sighed.

'Went upstairs to find out where the bastard had gone.'

'What, in the dress?' Shouted Gloin and Bofur wolf-whistled.

'NO!' exclaimed Dwalin, then he looked away sheepishly, 'It didn't fit me.'

Amidst shouts and cat-calling, Ori turned to Nori with a quizzical look.

'Didn't you tell me a story once, about something like that? Just before I was born you went over to Rhun and someone stole your gold - but you got it back.' Nori widened his eyes in warning and tried to silence his brother with a slight shake of the head. But it was too late, Bofur had heard.

'D'you hear that lads, same thing happened to Nori!' Suddenly all attention was on him, and he felt Dwalin's stare singeing his eyebrows. 

'Ori said you got yours back. Did you catch the dwarf?'

Dwalin's stare seemed to forbid him from lying.

'Eh, not exactly. I, uh, didn't catch that dwarf.'

Dwalin's eyes narrowed.

'Do you mean you caught a different dwarf instead?'

'I, uhhh..'

Dwalin's eyes were aflame.

'IT WAS YOU!'

Nori didn't try to explain. Nori ran.


End file.
